Your true inner voice isn't abusive

We tend to think that the voices inside us are ours, but it's not that simple.

The truth is that we have many voices inside us, but only one is our true voice.

Our intuition is our true voice, and it isn't in our head. It is honest and also expansive, encouraging, compassionate, permissive, and focused on growth.

If the voices inside sound abusive, cruel, negative, and limited, I can guarantee it is not your true voice.

The voices in my head

We have two minds: the subconscious and the conscious.

The subconscious is active in childhood; the conscious mind develops a little later. This is why we have the expression, "children's minds are like sponges." The subconscious has no filter. It absorbs everything from the world and the people around it. It cannot categorize right and wrong or positive and negative. Everything is stored as information and often as truth.

When we experience trauma and conditioning, it stores the information, whether it's true or not, and based on personal experience, the negative is a lot easier to believe than the positive stuff.

Why? Because the positive beliefs require self-trust. When we lack self-trust, we don't hear our intuition questioning or opposing all the other voices; they can be loud AF. Just remember: truth is not loud. It's honest.

The subconscious includes your trauma and conditioned voices, the voices of the people who abused and judged you or put you down, the voices of society's expectations, limited beliefs, and straight-up lies, the voices of other people who are struggling, your ego's voice trying to "protect" you, and the voice that reflects your nervous system and its fears; your wounded voice projected through your trauma.

These voices amplify and prey on your fears, limited beliefs, pain, and harmful inner dialogue.

your true voice

Your true voice doesn't start in your head; it starts in your gut, called your intuition or your soul's voice.

Then, your subconscious mirrors that voice when you listen to it intentionally.

Intention starts in the conscious mind. Your conscious mind is the one that filters everything and chooses intentionally and mindfully. It's the part of your mind that is rooted in the present and in truth. It's not dwelling on the past or worried about the future.

Your true voice doesn't speak through your trauma, conditioning, pain and fears.

It speaks through hope, trust, honesty, and growth.

One keeps you stuck and scared with no way out, attaches your identity to the narratives, and limits your capability to experience discomfort to expand.

The other one hypes you up while considering the risks, teaches you awareness, boundaries, and caution as you are still taking baby steps and learning to trust yourself.

Our inner voices can mirror the abuse we experienced

This is called conditioning.

When you've heard things long enough or been mistreated long enough, it conditions you to adopt it as truths about your identity long after those people are gone.

Then it becomes your wounded voice, or an echo that created a wound, repeating itself whenever we try to let go, heal, move forward, or do something different.

That voice that just won't shut up, keeps you up all night, is too loud, too convincing, and gripping you by the throat.

But if you get real still, intentional, and listen, your true voice exists under all that noise, and the more you listen to it, the louder it will get while the other voices will dim.

Your true voice is the one to listen to when you start rewriting your story.

Trust yourself

There are too many times and too many years when I did not trust myself at all.

I didn't know how to decide what was true for me, or not. I was gullible and easily influenced. I mean, everything could sound like truth.

When I started healing and reading a lot about what I was feeling and facing, I realized that just because a professional diagnoses it, or a well-known system theorizes it, or people have lived it, I am not obligated to apply it to myself if I don't resonate with it.

I can't tell you how many times others looked down on my choices, or doctors didn't approve, or I was misunderstood, but I couldn't care anymore.

The outside world could prey on me, manipulate me, lie to me, or try to control me, but my true voice wouldn't. I decided that she was the only one I could trust, and when I chose her intentionally and loudly, she became stronger.

Choosing yourself is not just about putting yourself first on your to-do list; it's about trusting yourself, valuing your truth, believing in yourself, and showing up for yourself even when nobody does.

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